1. prettygirlfood:

4-Layer Pizza Dip with Homemade Flatbread
6 ounces ricotta cheese6 ounces finely shredded Italian cheese blend (I used provolone, mozzarella and Parmesan)3/4 cup pizza or marinara saucepepperoni slices to cover the top
Preheat oven to 350°.
Spread ricotta cheese in an even layer in a baking dish with high sides (for deep dish version it should be no more than 6-inches across approximately).
Pour pizza sauce over ricotta cheese and spread evenly. Layer shredded cheese over pizza sauce. Layer the top with the pepperoni slices. Bake for 30-35 minutes until cheese is browned and bubbly.
Piadina (Italian Flat Bread)

2 teaspoons instant yeast3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour2 teaspoons fine sea salt1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil1/2 teaspoon baking soda1 1/4 cup water

In the bowl of a stand mixer with paddle attachment, stir together the flour, yeast and salt.

In a small bowl, whisk together the water and baking soda, then add the olive oil. With the mixer on low, add the liquid to the flour mixture and stir to combine to make a firm moist dough.

Switch to the dough hook on your mixer, or on a lightly floured surface knead the dough until smooth, shiny and elastic (about 10 minutes by hand, or 5 minutes by dough hook on medium-low speed).

Put the dough in a clean bowl and cover with a dish towel to let rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour. Punch down or flatten the dough in the bowl and let it rest for 10 minutes.  While the dough is resting, start a cast iron skillet or griddle heating over medium-low heat for about 10 minutes until very hot, let it heat up slowly to avoid hot spots that will burn your flat bread.

Place the dough on a lightly floured work surface and divide it into 10 equal pieces. Roll each piece until about 5-6 inches across and roughly 1/2 inch thick. If the dough is still too stiff to roll, or pulls back, let it rest a couple of minutes before rolling.

Place one of the dough rounds in the hot pan and prick the dough in several places with a fork to prevent air bubbles. Cook the dough until golden brown on both sides, flipping several times while cooking. It will take about 4-5 minutes per round. Repeat with the remaining pieces until they are all cooked. You can keep the cooked rounds in a clean towel on a plate in a 200 degree oven to keep warm, stacking them on top of each other. This will help them stay soft as well. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Makes 10 round flat breads.

    prettygirlfood:

    4-Layer Pizza Dip with Homemade Flatbread

    6 ounces ricotta cheese
    6 ounces finely shredded Italian cheese blend (I used provolone, mozzarella and Parmesan)
    3/4 cup pizza or marinara sauce
    pepperoni slices to cover the top

    Preheat oven to 350°.

    Spread ricotta cheese in an even layer in a baking dish with high sides (for deep dish version it should be no more than 6-inches across approximately).

    Pour pizza sauce over ricotta cheese and spread evenly. Layer shredded cheese over pizza sauce. Layer the top with the pepperoni slices. Bake for 30-35 minutes until cheese is browned and bubbly.

    Piadina (Italian Flat Bread)
    2 teaspoons instant yeast
    3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
    2 teaspoons fine sea salt
    1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
    1/2 teaspoon baking soda
    1 1/4 cup water
    In the bowl of a stand mixer with paddle attachment, stir together the flour, yeast and salt.
    In a small bowl, whisk together the water and baking soda, then add the olive oil. With the mixer on low, add the liquid to the flour mixture and stir to combine to make a firm moist dough.
    Switch to the dough hook on your mixer, or on a lightly floured surface knead the dough until smooth, shiny and elastic (about 10 minutes by hand, or 5 minutes by dough hook on medium-low speed).
    Put the dough in a clean bowl and cover with a dish towel to let rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour. Punch down or flatten the dough in the bowl and let it rest for 10 minutes.  While the dough is resting, start a cast iron skillet or griddle heating over medium-low heat for about 10 minutes until very hot, let it heat up slowly to avoid hot spots that will burn your flat bread.
    Place the dough on a lightly floured work surface and divide it into 10 equal pieces. Roll each piece until about 5-6 inches across and roughly 1/2 inch thick. If the dough is still too stiff to roll, or pulls back, let it rest a couple of minutes before rolling.
    Place one of the dough rounds in the hot pan and prick the dough in several places with a fork to prevent air bubbles. Cook the dough until golden brown on both sides, flipping several times while cooking. It will take about 4-5 minutes per round. Repeat with the remaining pieces until they are all cooked. You can keep the cooked rounds in a clean towel on a plate in a 200 degree oven to keep warm, stacking them on top of each other. This will help them stay soft as well. Serve warm or at room temperature.
    Makes 10 round flat breads.
     
  2. Dom’s (debatably) vegan Sweet’n’Spicy Wraps

    vicious-haiku:

    Ingredients:

    Tinned tomatoes

    Quorn fake chicken pieces (i never cook anything without fake chicken)

    Honey (some don’t consider it vegan, but thumbs up if you do. this recipe tastes kind of shit without honey)

    Cumin

    Coriander

    Cinnamon

    Chilli Powder (be careful, friend)

    Directions:


    Put all the ingredients in a pan on medium temperature with oil

    (Pick and choose with the Cumin, Coriander and Cinnamon, I had all three but I reckon it’d taste better with just two of them)

    Keep going until the quorn pieces seem edible

    Serve on Tortilla wraps

    image

     
  3. cheat meal recipe

    plsfit:

    CHORIZO SLIDERS WITH AVOCADO CREAM SAUCE

    Ingredients:

    1/2 lb. Spanish chorizo, casing removed and coarsely chopped
    1 3/4 lb. Ground beef
    1/2 lb Bacon
    1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
    1 tbsp Smoked sweet paprika
    Kosher salt & freshly ground black pepper
    Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling
    1/2 lb Manchego cheese, shredded
    2 Avocados
    1 Lemon, juiced
    1 Large clove garlic, grated
    1/3 cup light cream
    12 Slider rolls
    Bibb lettuce leaves, for topping
    2 Plum tomatoes, sliced, for topping
    1 Small red onion, sliced for topping

    Directions:

    1. Heat a cast iron skillet or griddle over medium-high heat. Cook bacon until crispy and set aside. Place the chopped chorizo and ground beef in a bowl and season with Worcestershire, smoked paprika, salt and pepper. Add a drizzle of extra-virgin olive oil to the meat mixture and combine.

    2.Form 12 patties that are thinner at the center than the edges. Cook the sliders 3 minutes per side. Pile shredded cheese onto the burgers for the last minute of cook time to melt.

    3. Place the avocados in a food processor. Add the lemon juice, garlic and cream, and process until very smooth. Serve the sliders on rolls topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, bacon and avocado cream sauce.

    Recipe and image credit via The MeatHouse Blog.

     
  4. image: Download

    liahannah112:

Ingredients:
1/3 cup olive oil
3 Tablespoons red wine vinegar
2 Tablespoons capers
1 clove minced garlic
8 ounces fresh mozzarella
2 cups cherry tomatoes halved
1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat leaf parsley
1 box orecchiette (or any other tube pasta you have)
1/4 cup reserved cooking liquid
salt and pepper
1/3 cup roasted pine nuts
Parmesan cheese
Directions:
In a large bowl, combine the olive oil, vinegar, capers, and garlic. Season with salt and pepper.
Add the tomatoes and mozzarella.
Give a good toss. Let this marinate for 30 minutes if possible. I do this if I have time, if I don’t I do this while the water is boiling for the pasta.
Toss in the basil and parsley. I reserve a little for adding at the very end.
Cook the pasta in a pot of salted water.
Make sure to reserve at least 1/4 cup of the cooking liquid.
Add the pasta and the reserved pasta water. Toss well. Check for seasoning. Add salt and pepper as needed.
Sprinkle the reserved herbs on the top. Add the pine nuts and some Parmesan cheese.

    liahannah112:

    Ingredients:

    • 1/3 cup olive oil
    • 3 Tablespoons red wine vinegar
    • 2 Tablespoons capers
    • 1 clove minced garlic
    • 8 ounces fresh mozzarella
    • 2 cups cherry tomatoes halved
    • 1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
    • 1/4 cup chopped fresh flat leaf parsley
    • 1 box orecchiette (or any other tube pasta you have)
    • 1/4 cup reserved cooking liquid
    • salt and pepper
    • 1/3 cup roasted pine nuts
    • Parmesan cheese
    Directions:
    1. In a large bowl, combine the olive oil, vinegar, capers, and garlic. Season with salt and pepper.
    2. Add the tomatoes and mozzarella.
    3. Give a good toss. Let this marinate for 30 minutes if possible. I do this if I have time, if I don’t I do this while the water is boiling for the pasta.
    4. Toss in the basil and parsley. I reserve a little for adding at the very end.
    5. Cook the pasta in a pot of salted water.
    6. Make sure to reserve at least 1/4 cup of the cooking liquid.
    7. Add the pasta and the reserved pasta water. Toss well. Check for seasoning. Add salt and pepper as needed.
    8. Sprinkle the reserved herbs on the top. Add the pine nuts and some Parmesan cheese.
     
  5. liahannah112:



Ingredients:
3/4 pounds ground pork
3/4 pounds ground beef (80/20 or 85/15)
1/4 pound pancetta, small dice
1/2 cup parmesean, grated
3/4 cups breadcrumbs
1/4 cup parsley, finely chopped
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1 teaspoon (each) red pepper flakes, ground coriander, ground cumin, caraway seeds (crushed), kosher salt, and ground pepper
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2/3 cups whole milk
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1/4 pound cremini mushrooms, quartered
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1 large banana pepper, chopped
1 tablespoon sweet Hungarian paprika (1 heaping tbsp)
1/2 teaspoon hot or half-sharp paprika
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 teaspoon porcini mushroom powder
1/4 teaspoon (each) dried rosemary, thyme, crushed fennel seeds, and marjoram
1/4 cup parsley, finely chopped
1/2 cup dry white wine
15 oz stewed tomatoes, chopped, with juices
2 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup sour cream
Directions:
Preheat oven to 325 F. Lightly mix all ingredients for the meatballs except the olive oil together and form into balls 1-1 1/2 inches in diameter. (Depending on size, you should get between 20 and 30.) Allow time to refrigerate them so they firm up a bit.
In an oven-safe pan, brown the meatballs in olive oil on all sides. Remove to a plate, cover with foil, and set aside.
Add the chopped onion to the pan dripping and saute until starting to brown. Add mushroom and saute a few minutes more, until they start to brown as well. Add garlic and peppers and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds, then add the paprikas, the porcini powder, and the rest of the herbs and spices. Cook, stirring, about a minute. Deglaze with wine. Cook until wine is mostly evaporated, then stir in tomatoes and their juices and the broth. Bring to a boil and return the meatballs to the pan.
Transfer the pan the oven and braise for 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally and luxuriating in the awesome aromas that should be enveloping your kitchen at this point.
When the braising time is up, remove the pan from the oven. Put the sour cream into a small bowl, then temper it by stirring in a few spoonfuls of the braising liquid. Stir the sour cream mixture back into the pan, coating the meatballs and heating through. Serve as an appetizer or with spaetzle or egg noodles for an entree.

    liahannah112:

    Ingredients:
    • 3/4 pounds ground pork
    • 3/4 pounds ground beef (80/20 or 85/15)
    • 1/4 pound pancetta, small dice
    • 1/2 cup parmesean, grated
    • 3/4 cups breadcrumbs
    • 1/4 cup parsley, finely chopped
    • tablespoon garlic, minced
    • teaspoon (each) red pepper flakes, ground coriander, ground cumin, caraway seeds (crushed), kosher salt, and ground pepper
    • eggs, lightly beaten
    • 2/3 cups whole milk
    • tablespoons olive oil
    • medium onion, chopped
    • 1/4 pound cremini mushrooms, quartered
    • tablespoon garlic, minced
    • large banana pepper, chopped
    • tablespoon sweet Hungarian paprika (1 heaping tbsp)
    • 1/2 teaspoon hot or half-sharp paprika
    • 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
    • teaspoon porcini mushroom powder
    • 1/4 teaspoon (each) dried rosemary, thyme, crushed fennel seeds, and marjoram
    • 1/4 cup parsley, finely chopped
    • 1/2 cup dry white wine
    • 15 oz stewed tomatoes, chopped, with juices
    • cups chicken broth
    • 1/2 cup sour cream
    Directions:
    1. Preheat oven to 325 F. Lightly mix all ingredients for the meatballs except the olive oil together and form into balls 1-1 1/2 inches in diameter. (Depending on size, you should get between 20 and 30.) Allow time to refrigerate them so they firm up a bit.
    2. In an oven-safe pan, brown the meatballs in olive oil on all sides. Remove to a plate, cover with foil, and set aside.
    3. Add the chopped onion to the pan dripping and saute until starting to brown. Add mushroom and saute a few minutes more, until they start to brown as well. Add garlic and peppers and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds, then add the paprikas, the porcini powder, and the rest of the herbs and spices. Cook, stirring, about a minute. Deglaze with wine. Cook until wine is mostly evaporated, then stir in tomatoes and their juices and the broth. Bring to a boil and return the meatballs to the pan.
    4. Transfer the pan the oven and braise for 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally and luxuriating in the awesome aromas that should be enveloping your kitchen at this point.
    5. When the braising time is up, remove the pan from the oven. Put the sour cream into a small bowl, then temper it by stirring in a few spoonfuls of the braising liquid. Stir the sour cream mixture back into the pan, coating the meatballs and heating through. Serve as an appetizer or with spaetzle or egg noodles for an entree.

     
  6. koriru:

Orange chicken is a popular Chinese take-out dish. This easy orange chicken recipe takes 30 minutes to make and better than Panda Express’s orange chicken.Share with those friends who love chinese!!For the sauce:• 1/2 cup orange juice• 1 tbsp grated orange zest• 2 big garlic cloves• 1 tbsp oyster sauce (find in oriental section of store)• 2 tbsps rice vinegar• 2 tbsps soy sauce• 1 tsp minced ginger• A dash of honey, sugar or agaveFor the stir-fry:• 1 lb chicken tender cut into strips or TOFU drained well• 3 tbsp cornstarch• 4 cups chopped mushrooms, celery, carrots, snap peas and broccoli – must be fresh.• 1/2 cup chopped onion• 1 tbsp olive oil• salt and pepper to tasteDirections:1. Put all sauce ingredients in a blender. Blend and taste if you’d like to add sweetness to it.2. Pour sauce into pan and heat for 5 mins, then put in a separate bowl.3. Wash the pan. (Of course you can use more than 1 pan)4. Spice the chicken or tofu with salt & pepper.5. Add the cornstarch and rub the chicken with it.6. Boil the broccoli for about 5 mins, watch that it doesn’t get too soft, it stay firm. (Or micro till crisp tender)7. Place a paper towel on a plate and lay the chopped vegetables on it.8. Dry the pan.9. Cook the onion on olive oil and chicken for about 4 mins – make sure the chicken is cooked!10. Throw in the rest of the vegetables and stir-fry for 2 mins.11. Add drops of sauce between each stir.12. Repeat, adding a few tablespoons every 15 secs, for the sauce to cook down.13. Place the stir-fry over hot rice.

    koriru:


    Orange chicken is a popular Chinese take-out dish. This easy orange chicken recipe takes 30 minutes to make and better than Panda Express’s orange chicken.

    Share with those friends who love chinese!!

    For the sauce:
    • 1/2 cup orange juice
    • 1 tbsp grated orange zest
    • 2 big garlic cloves
    • 1 tbsp oyster sauce (find in oriental section of store)
    • 2 tbsps rice vinegar
    • 2 tbsps soy sauce
    • 1 tsp minced ginger
    • A dash of honey, sugar or agave

    For the stir-fry:
    • 1 lb chicken tender cut into strips or TOFU drained well
    • 3 tbsp cornstarch
    • 4 cups chopped mushrooms, celery, carrots, snap peas and broccoli – must be fresh.
    • 1/2 cup chopped onion
    • 1 tbsp olive oil
    • salt and pepper to taste

    Directions:
    1. Put all sauce ingredients in a blender. Blend and taste if you’d like to add sweetness to it.
    2. Pour sauce into pan and heat for 5 mins, then put in a separate bowl.
    3. Wash the pan. (Of course you can use more than 1 pan)
    4. Spice the chicken or tofu with salt & pepper.
    5. Add the cornstarch and rub the chicken with it.
    6. Boil the broccoli for about 5 mins, watch that it doesn’t get too soft, it stay firm. (Or micro till crisp tender)
    7. Place a paper towel on a plate and lay the chopped vegetables on it.
    8. Dry the pan.
    9. Cook the onion on olive oil and chicken for about 4 mins – make sure the chicken is cooked!
    10. Throw in the rest of the vegetables and stir-fry for 2 mins.
    11. Add drops of sauce between each stir.
    12. Repeat, adding a few tablespoons every 15 secs, for the sauce to cook down.
    13. Place the stir-fry over hot rice.


     
  7. image: Download

    nekotindiy:

CREAMY CHEDDAR POTATO SOUP
Ingredients
3 tablespoons of melted butter
1/2 cup of chopped onion
2 cups of water
2 cups of peeled and cubed potatoes
3 tablespoons of all-purpose flour
3 cups milk
2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
Instructions
Melt the butter in a saucepan and add the chopped onions. Saute until soft.
In a large stock pot, bring the water to a boil and add the potatoes, cooking them until they are just tender.
Darin the water, but keep 1 cup of it, setting it aside.
Stir in the melted butter and onion with the potatoes, add the flour.
Stir well. Add the reserved water and milk and bring to a simmer.
Add the shredded cheese a little at a time mixing it in well.
Simmer for 30 minutes, stirring frequently.

Add salt & pepper to taste.

    nekotindiy:

    CREAMY CHEDDAR POTATO SOUP

    Ingredients

    • 3 tablespoons of melted butter
    • 1/2 cup of chopped onion
    • 2 cups of water
    • 2 cups of peeled and cubed potatoes
    • 3 tablespoons of all-purpose flour
    • 3 cups milk
    • 2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese

    Instructions

    Melt the butter in a saucepan and add the chopped onions. Saute until soft.

    In a large stock pot, bring the water to a boil and add the potatoes, cooking them until they are just tender.

    Darin the water, but keep 1 cup of it, setting it aside.

    Stir in the melted butter and onion with the potatoes, add the flour.

    Stir well. Add the reserved water and milk and bring to a simmer.

    Add the shredded cheese a little at a time mixing it in well.

    Simmer for 30 minutes, stirring frequently.

    Add salt & pepper to taste.

     
  8. sweetsrsmitty:

Brisket & Brie Quesadillas with Mango Barbecue Sauce

Tacos or quesadillas loaded with sliced brisket, brie, monterrey Jack, and topped with a mango barbecue sauce.
Ingredients
Brisket
3 lb brisket
Salt
Ground black pepper
1 Tbsp chili powder
3 cloves garlic, minced
16 oz Dublin Dr. Pepper (made with real sugar)
Mango Barbecue Sauce
1 1/2 Tbsp olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, chopped (about 3/4 – 1 cup)
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 cup ketchup
2 Tbsp lemon juice
1 1/2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 tsp Creole (spicy brown) mustard
Salt
Pepper
1/4 cup mango chutney (1/4 cup homemade or purchased)
Quesadillas
8 8-in flour tortillas
8 oz brie, thinly sliced
1 cup monterrey jack, shredded
olive oil or cooking spray, to brush tortillas
cilantro, for garnish (optional)
Instructions
To make the brisket: Rub the meat with salt, pepper, chili powder, and garlic.
Place brisket in the crockpot and pour the Dr. Pepper over the top.
Cook on low for 8 hours.
Remove from the crockpot and let rest for 15 minutes.
Slice against the grain (1/8-1/4 inch thick).
To make the barbecue sauce: Heat olive oil in a 2-qt sauce pan.
Saute onions for 5 minutes.
Add garlic and cook until fragrant.
Stir in the remaining ingredients and simmer for 5 minutes.
Transfer to a blender or food processor and run until smooth.
To assemble the quesadillas: Heat a griddle or large pan over medium-high.
Lay out the tortillas. Divide the meat, brie, and monterrey jack between the tortillas, placing the meat and cheese on half of the tortilla.
Top with a spoonful or two of barbecue sauce and fold the other half over.
Place on the heated grill (brushing the tortilla with oil or cooking spray will prevent sticking).
Cook until the bottom is crisp and flip over.
Remove from heat and cut into 2-3 wedges. Serve with extra barbecue sauce.

Notes
Yields: 8 servings

    sweetsrsmitty:

    Brisket & Brie Quesadillas with Mango Barbecue Sauce

    Tacos or quesadillas loaded with sliced brisket, brie, monterrey Jack, and topped with a mango barbecue sauce.

    Ingredients

    • Brisket
    • 3 lb brisket
    • Salt
    • Ground black pepper
    • 1 Tbsp chili powder
    • 3 cloves garlic, minced
    • 16 oz Dublin Dr. Pepper (made with real sugar)
    • Mango Barbecue Sauce
    • 1 1/2 Tbsp olive oil
    • 1 medium yellow onion, chopped (about 3/4 – 1 cup)
    • 1 clove garlic, minced
    • 1/2 cup ketchup
    • 2 Tbsp lemon juice
    • 1 1/2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
    • 1 1/2 tsp Creole (spicy brown) mustard
    • Salt
    • Pepper
    • 1/4 cup mango chutney (1/4 cup homemade or purchased)
    • Quesadillas
    • 8 8-in flour tortillas
    • 8 oz brie, thinly sliced
    • 1 cup monterrey jack, shredded
    • olive oil or cooking spray, to brush tortillas
    • cilantro, for garnish (optional)

    Instructions

    1. To make the brisket: Rub the meat with salt, pepper, chili powder, and garlic.
    2. Place brisket in the crockpot and pour the Dr. Pepper over the top.
    3. Cook on low for 8 hours.
    4. Remove from the crockpot and let rest for 15 minutes.
    5. Slice against the grain (1/8-1/4 inch thick).
    6. To make the barbecue sauce: Heat olive oil in a 2-qt sauce pan.
    7. Saute onions for 5 minutes.
    8. Add garlic and cook until fragrant.
    9. Stir in the remaining ingredients and simmer for 5 minutes.
    10. Transfer to a blender or food processor and run until smooth.
    11. To assemble the quesadillas: Heat a griddle or large pan over medium-high.
    12. Lay out the tortillas. Divide the meat, brie, and monterrey jack between the tortillas, placing the meat and cheese on half of the tortilla.
    13. Top with a spoonful or two of barbecue sauce and fold the other half over.
    14. Place on the heated grill (brushing the tortilla with oil or cooking spray will prevent sticking).
    15. Cook until the bottom is crisp and flip over.
    16. Remove from heat and cut into 2-3 wedges. Serve with extra barbecue sauce.

    Notes

    Yields: 8 servings

     
  9. ALRIGHT YOU YOUNG’INS, POOR-AS-FUCK BUT STILL MAJESTIC PARTY PEOPLE!

    fuckingrecipes:

    HERE ARE SOME MORE TIPS TO EAT FUCKING FANTASTIC FOOD ON A LOW BUDGET! 

    MAKE YOUR OWN MOTHERFUCKING BREAD

    EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT ONE OF THOSE NUMBER-LOVING ASSHOLES, BASIC STUFF SHOULD BE COMMON SENSE. LET ME LAY DOWN SOME FACTS AND YOU SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE MAGIC CARPET RIDE!

    A LOAF OF WHITE BREAD AT WALMART COSTS ~ $1.50

    THAT SHIT’S FULL OF WEIRD BULLSHIT AND PRESERVATIVES AND REALLY DOESN’T TASTE LIKE ANYTHING. 

    A 25-LB POUND OF FLOUR COSTS $11

    A BOTTLE OF YEASTS COSTS $5

    A 10-LB BAG OF SUGAR COSTS $6

    THAT SHIT ADDS UP TO $22! PROBABLY EVEN LESS, BECAUSE I ROUNDED ALL THE PRICES UP!

    YOU KNOW HOW MUCH BREAD THAT MAKES? MAYBE YOU CAN DO THAT OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD, BUT I HAD TO USE A DRAGONSBLOOD FOUNTAIN PEN AND PARCHMENT. 

    1 cup = ~5oz

    25lb = 400 oz

    25lb of flour = 80 cups

    ~4 cups of flour per large loaf = 20 loaves

    THAT’S 20 HOME-MADE, WARM, FLUFFY, PERFECTLY CRUSTED, HEALTHY AS FUCK LOAVES OF BREAD, FOR LESS THAN 22 DOLLARS!

    THATS $1.10 PER LOAF!

    THAT PRICE WILL DECREASE IN THE FUTURE, SINCE YOU ALREADY HAVE THE YEAST AND THAT SHIT LASTS FOR FUCKING EVER! (REMEMBER TO REFRIGERATE, THOUGH! WE DON’T WANT THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS TO START PARTYING WITHOUT PERMISSION)

    YOU KNOW HOW EASY BREAD IS TO MAKE?

    FUCKING EASY!

    NOT ONLY IS IT FUCKING EASY, BUT YOU CAN SHOVE SHIT IN THERE LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE!

    WANT A SWEET, FRUITY BREAD? MASH UP SOME RASPBERRIES INTO IT, AND USE APPLE JUICE INSTEAD OF WATER! JESUS FUCK THAT’S SO EASY I COULD VOMIT RAINBOWS.

    WANT A DESSERT-LIKE BREAD? ADD SOME CHOCOLATE CHIPS! ROLL THE DOUGH OUT AND SMEAR SOME PEANUT BUTTER INSIDE, THEN ROLL IT BACK UP BEFORE DROP-KICKING IT INTO THE OVEN. 

    HOLY FUCK, JUST LAST WEEK I THREW SOME MINCED GARLIC INSIDE, AND SPRINKLED GARLIC ON TOP BEFORE BAKING, AND MY BREAD TURNED OUT TO BE THE MOST DELECTABLE GARLIC BREAD I’VE EVER SHOVED IN MY FACE!

    IT’S CHEAPER AND HEALTHIER FOR YOU TO MAKE YOUR OWN GODDAMN BREAD. 

    GLUTEN INTOLERANT PEOPLE? USE FUCKING RICE FLOUR! GLUTEN JUST GIVES THE YEAST SOME EXTRA SHIT TO EAT. REPLACE THEIR FOOD SOURCE WITH SUGAR AND MAYBE OLIVE OIL OR BUTTER, AND THEY’RE HAPPY LITTLE FUCKERS. 

    I THINK IT’S A BIT DULL IN FLAVOR, SO ADD SOME OTHER SHIT LIKE FRUIT OR GARLIC OR HELL I DON’T KNOW MAYBE YOU LOVE NUTELLA. 

    ~~~~

    POTATOES ARE QUEEN. PRAISE HER. WORSHIP HER. 

    ALL YOU ASSHOLES SAYING ‘I AM A POTATO’ BETTER CHEER THE FUCK UP, BECAUSE POTATOES ARE SO RAD MY HEAD EXPLODES TRYING TO INTAKE ALL OF THEIR MAJESTY. 

    YOU CAN’T LIVE OFF POTATOES ALONE, BUT YOU CAN COME DAMN CLOSE!

    POTATOES ARE FUCKING CHEAP, AND RIDICULOUSLY EASY TO COOK!

    BOIL ‘EM, MASH ‘EM, STICK ‘EM IN A STEW. YOU CAN ROAST, BROIL, IF THERE’S A METHOD OF COOKING, YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS THERE’S A WAY TO COOK POTATOES THAT WAY. 

    APPLY HEAT UNTIL THEY’RE BROWNED, MUSHY, AND HAVEN’T STARTED TO BURN YET, AND YOU’RE SET. 

    IF YOU USE WATER TO COOK THEM, THEY WON’T TURN BROWN, JUST TEST HOW MUSHY AND COOKED-POTATO-LIKE THEY ARE IN YOUR MOUTH.

    TRUST ME, RAW POTATOES HAVE A CERTAIN TASTE.

    THEY AIN’T NASTY, THEY’RE PRECIOUS. 

    A 10-POUND BAG OF POTATOES COSTS $5

    FRUITS AND VEGGIES

    YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME?

    BACK THE FUCK OFF MATE, EVEN YOUNG ASSHOLES WITH YOUR FOOD-DISPOSAL-LIKE INNARDS NEED SOME HEALTHY SHIT. PIZZA AND RAMEN ALONE WILL FUCK UP YOUR DIGESTION, AND WHEN YOU GET OLDER, YOU’LL BE LIKE “WHY THE HELL DID I DO THAT TO MYSELF?”

    PLUS, ASSHOLES THAT CAN COOK FANCY SHIT CAN LAUGH BEHIND THEIR HANDS ABOUT HOW CHEAP IT WAS TO MAKE, WHILE ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE MARVELING ABOUT HOW FUCKING RICH YOU MUST BE TO AFFORD GORMET-LOOKING HOME-COOKED MEALS.

    LOOK FOR SEASONAL SHIT THAT’S ON SALE BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS WAY TOO GODDAMN MUCH OF IT!

    IT’S SUMMER WHERE I LIVE, SO FUCKING EVERYTHING IS HELLA CHEAPER THAN NORMAL. 

    MELONS ARE MASSIVE. SAVE THE UNEATEN PART IN PLASTIC WRAP. 

    INVEST IN SOME FOOD STORAGE CONTAINERS. 

    ZIPLOCK IS AWESOME. OFF-BRAND ZIPLOCK-LIKE THINGS ARE ALSO AWESOME. 

    YOU KNOW WHAT I DO EVERY NIGHT? I FIRE UP MY RICE MAKER, MAKE A 1/2 CUP OF RICE IN THAT BABY, AND ABOUT 2 MINUTES BEFORE THE RICE IS TOTALLY DONE, I THROW IN A PORTION OF THE LEFTOVER CRACK BEANS AND LET IT COOK ALONGSIDE THE RICE.

    THE RICE GETS ALL THE BACON TASTE AND THE MEAL JUST DOUBLED IN SIZE, HOLY FUCK! 

    GOT SOME NICELY-SAUCED CHICKEN? THROW IT IN WITH THE RICE!

    RICE CAN BE PART OF ANY GODDAMN MEAL YOU CAN THINK OF. 

    A RICE COOKER OR CROCK POT IS SERIOUSLY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO HAVE AS A POOR-ASS MOTHERFUCKER. 

    STEWS, FRIED OR BOILED ANYTHING, FUCK, I HEATED UP SOME PIZZA ROLLS IN MY RICE COOKER LAST MONTH. 

    (IF YOU COULDN’T TELL, I DON’T HAVE A OVEN OR MICROWAVE RIGHT NOW. MY RICE COOKER IS MY SALVATION. IT WAS A 25$ CHEAP-ASS THING, ON SALE FOR $17 BECAUSE THE PACKAGING WAS DAMAGED.) 

    SPEAKING OF DAMAGED PACKAGING, THERE ARE PLACES YOU CAN BUY SHIT AT 50 OR 75 PERCENT OFF JUST BECAUSE THE DAMN PACKAGING IS DAMAGED! EVERYTHING INSIDE IS STILL FUCKING PERFECT!

    EMBRACE THE SALVAGE STORE. 

    GIVE IT AN UNCOMFORTABLY LONG HUG TO SHOW YOUR GRATITUDE. 

    WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS? FUCK IF I KNOW. PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE ‘RICE, BEANS AND POTATOES ARE RIDICULOUSLY INEXPENSIVE AND CAN BE MADE DELICIOUS.’ AND ‘MAKE YOUR OWN GODDAMN BREAD’ 

     
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    paleomushi:

Sausage Stuffed Eggplants - With Roasted Vegetables, Bacon and Kale and Watermelon Balsamic salad with Feta Cheese 
I was feeling extra uncreative today, and decided that I would at least be creative with dinner, and so I came up with this idea. Dinner today was really more of a kitchen sink dinner, where I just wanted to use up as much of the stuff I had in my fridge as possible. But just because it’s a clean up dinner doesn’t mean it can’t be different and creative and most importantly, amazing :D.
Stuffed Eggplants Ingredients
1 large eggplant
1 pound of hot Italian sausage, casing removed
2 tbsp chopped frozen spinach, thawed
3/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
2 tsp garlic powder 
2 tsp ground black pepper 
2 tbsp fresh chopped basil 
olive oil
paprika 
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. 
Cut the eggplant about 1 inch thick into rounds, then take a pairing knife and slide a cut down the centre, creating a pocket out of the eggplant rounds. 
Mix the sausage, cheese, garlic powder, pepper and basil together until mixed well. Take each eggplant round and stuff if full with the sausage mixture. 

They should look something like this when all stuffed. Drizzle the eggplants with olive oil and a sprinkle the top with some paprika. Bake in the oven for 45-50 minutes, until the meat is fully cooked. 
Balsamic Watermelon Salad with Feta Cheese
3 cups of chopped watermelon
2 tbsp fresh basil, chopped
1/4 cup feta cheese
3 tbsp balsamic vinegar
3 tbsp olive oil
pinch of salt
Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl, let sit for at least 10 minutes to allow the flavours to mingle and serve :)!
I still have a ton of watermelon cut up into cubes in my fridge, tomorrow I’m thinking watermelon soup…

    paleomushi:

    Sausage Stuffed Eggplants - With Roasted Vegetables, Bacon and Kale and Watermelon Balsamic salad with Feta Cheese 

    I was feeling extra uncreative today, and decided that I would at least be creative with dinner, and so I came up with this idea. Dinner today was really more of a kitchen sink dinner, where I just wanted to use up as much of the stuff I had in my fridge as possible. But just because it’s a clean up dinner doesn’t mean it can’t be different and creative and most importantly, amazing :D.

    Stuffed Eggplants Ingredients

    • 1 large eggplant
    • 1 pound of hot Italian sausage, casing removed
    • 2 tbsp chopped frozen spinach, thawed
    • 3/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
    • 2 tsp garlic powder 
    • 2 tsp ground black pepper 
    • 2 tbsp fresh chopped basil 
    • olive oil
    • paprika 

    Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. 

    Cut the eggplant about 1 inch thick into rounds, then take a pairing knife and slide a cut down the centre, creating a pocket out of the eggplant rounds. 

    Mix the sausage, cheese, garlic powder, pepper and basil together until mixed well. Take each eggplant round and stuff if full with the sausage mixture. 

    They should look something like this when all stuffed. Drizzle the eggplants with olive oil and a sprinkle the top with some paprika. Bake in the oven for 45-50 minutes, until the meat is fully cooked. 

    Balsamic Watermelon Salad with Feta Cheese

    • 3 cups of chopped watermelon
    • 2 tbsp fresh basil, chopped
    • 1/4 cup feta cheese
    • 3 tbsp balsamic vinegar
    • 3 tbsp olive oil
    • pinch of salt

    Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl, let sit for at least 10 minutes to allow the flavours to mingle and serve :)!

    I still have a ton of watermelon cut up into cubes in my fridge, tomorrow I’m thinking watermelon soup…